Those are the colors I'm wearing to the hospital for surgery today...

Yep, I'm having surgery. I'm not sure if I'll set of the metal detector when I fly from now on, but we'll find that out eventually. I'm getting a titanium rod and a few screws stuck in my right leg.

Today... today, today, today. Wow.

I am now a member of the broken bones club.

As I've been talking about, we had our family reunion/suprise party tonight. I had planned on going there earlier to watch the caterers set up (but that didn't happen). Instead, I ended up being left behind - due to running cousins everywhere.

I decided to use my extra time (in between doing others hair) to finish fixing my makeup and to do my hair. I had just finished artfully arranging my loose curls in a half cascade down the side of my head when the call to leave was sounded. I finished up with a dash of my Burberry Brit and a pair of dangling earrings.

"It isn't a family reunion until someone goes to the hospital" my dad stated... quite consisely. "Hey, Cecily! Why don't you ride with her?" my mom suggested. I grabbed the keys to the Honda - not my car, but the best choice for the hour long ride - started the car and zoomed off. Cecily wanted to sit in the front but I refused, "what if we got into a wreck? That would be really bad."

I saw that Sam had called; he wanted me to attend a UT game with him. After explaining the situation and hanging up, I turned up my Mika CD (I'm addicted I swear). Headed around a corner, my right wheels went off the pavement and tugged me towards the steep hill. Quickly I over corrected - my first mistake... and then continued to over correct, without slowing down - my second mistake. Seeing a tree coming up I swerved to ensure that I'd hit it on the passenger side....

My air bags deployed as the car spun. Smoke filled the cabin as I opened the door to check on Cecily... God's hand was watching over us. As the door opened, I flopped out of it like a soggy fish and my right leg followed in a manner similar to cooked spaghetti.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

To finish a long story (and try to make it shorter): I completely broke my fibula and tibia. It was a nice, clean, diagonal break... possibly meaning that I won't have to have surgery. Something that would be an answer to prayer. I was dismissed from the hospital around 10:30; my leg wrapped in the most glorious (hugmongous) splint. I will return to the orthopedics on Wed/Thurs and recieve their final pronouncement on my leg.

My humor is in the highest stratum. Mom called Sam and informed him of what happened: he's promised to bring a movie over when he comes to sign my cast. Cecily only recieved a tiny scratch on her hip, but I'm sure she'll be bruised well tomorrow. My family has been wonderful - it makes me feel selfish to be garnering so much attention.

My drugs are making me drowsy, and my body (finally free of the adrenaline) is begging for some much needed sleep. I will keep everyone updated on my poor leg's condition... prayers are definitly appreciated.

Here I sit, at the end of a long day, in my comfy pink.black plaid pj pants and one very comfortable grey hoodie... Thanksgiving is over. *tear*

I should probably retract to Sunday, when I last posted. Mom quashed a disk in her back and sis had her wisdom teeth removed on Friday (she milked that sucker for all it was worth...); I was left to take care of the household affairs. This week has been cooking, grocery shopping, some more shopping, cleaning, cooking, and more shopping. Today was dedicated soley to cooking - and buring my hand.

Tuesday night, Sam popped up on fb chat (which I rarely every have open to save myself the troubles of dealing with various immature middleschooler and one or two select college students who should still be middleschoolers). It turns out that he get bored easily - enough so to invite me to a movie. Sadly, dad wouldn't allow me to go out so late at night to so far away (into downtown moreover). He asked if he could grab a movie and come over - to which dad also said no... just because it was already 8 at night and it'd be 9 by the time he got to my abode. We settled on meeting at Starbucks for some crappy coffee.

A side rant: Whoever claimed that Tazo actually has quality tea needs to check their crainiums to see if their brains are still there. They suck... I drank "Joy" which tasted like I was drinking an evergreen - evergreens are meant to be decorated festively, not drunk.

Sam and I ended up staying until they kicked us out (apparently employees like to leave work). We loafed around in the parking lot trading good music and style tips: he likes it when girls dress like me (i.e. whatever I decided I like at the moment), I like it when guys dress like him (i.e. preppy grunge)... My personal favorite style on a guy is the geeky prep; grunge comes in second. He told me that my Mika CD looked like the guy was on acid, to which I replied "More like a sugar high." We ended up staying in the parking lot until about 11:30 pm.

It's bad. I'm starting to like him more than ever. Will someone please smack me so I can return to my senses?

The matriarchs of our family decended upon me: apparently veganism is bad. (That's right! Eat rotting carcasses... it's waaaay better for your health than greens. Not.) After a few hours I was able to placate them by saying "It's just a phase." I should have tried that to begin. As an added bonus, I had some complaining about tofu while eating my "delicious" vegan butternut squash pudding: which was made with silken tofu. Irony is so sweet.

(Oh, and I'm also the only person that didn't stuff my face with butter, butter, butter, and more butter topped off with sugar. I won't be the one gaining the 10lbs this season.)

It was wonderful to have my word as law in the kitchen. I was even able to teach some of my younger cousins how to cut veggies and whatnot.

Sam called me around 5 (causing me to burn my hand on the roof of the oven while trying to remove a lightly roasted squash) asking if I wanted to go see 2012 with him. I ended up meeting him at 7 to see a movie. (sheesh... it's almost like we're dating)

As we were standing in line outside the theater - I couldn't believe how busy it was for a holiday - we found out that they had canceled the 7:10 showing. The next one was at 10. We ended up going to see a football movie called Blind Side. It was amazing. Epic. Inspiring. I'm not really into the whole football scene, but it was a really really good movie.

Now I'm back at home, sitting at our ancient laptop (our regular pc crashed, again) inconsisley chronicleing today's events. I will bid everyone a'deu... my pepperment tea needs my attention. :)

I cannot believe I just typed that as a subject... I must be completely mental (as that's the only creative title I can come up with at the moment).
Beside Halloween, Thankgiving is my absoulute favorite holiday. When other time can you get together with all 41 of your first cousins in the kitchen? It combines my two favorite things: crazy, random familiness and down home, comfort cooking. Plus it has pumkins! I luffles anything to do with pumkins ♥

I just ordered some clothes from yesstyle... we'll see how they come out. You know the sweater dress I've been dreaming about? Yeah, I got one of those ^^ I also got a slipdress to go underneath it. All that's left to get are some arm warmers, boots, and a beret (preferably with a pompom). It's suppose to arrive on Wendnesday, just in time for Thanksgiving :) ♥ Yays! ♥ ♥

I'm in such a weird mood today... waaaaaaaaaaaay to happy. I suppose it's because I've been cleaning. That and the fact that I've finished my huge-e-mongous projects. And I took a bubble bath last night for the first time in a while. I'm all destress-itized now!

I want to learn how to play Gin Rummy - I think I'll force my family to learn with me. And I want to learn Rich Man, Poor Man.

I'm so happy that I get to cook like all week! And I get to see my family. And we get to hang out and stay up until we're all on the verge of legally being high... and laughing hysterically the whole way. Last time we were all together we ended up picking up an Israeli hitchhiker and being rear-ended by a cute Czech family but not necessarily in that order... yeah, we totally win at the oddness.

So I'm going to go see if we can rent Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I think I'll checkout the series when I get some free time. (I'm telling you... the man was brilliant. Had humanity and all it's wonderful stupidity down to a T.) I'll catch y'all around the fjords later.

Compared to some of my recent posts, this one is a tad bit plain. ^^

NaNoWriMo has died. Actually, it was never alive (okay - it was, but it died during the first week of November). I will do it next time, in April I think. My characters have tasted their world and are craving more - something that I won't deny them (lest they maul me...) Elian Jikan , Justine Chronos, Hisao Vesper, Nyx, and all the rest will have their happy? ending.

However, I will be writing a short story for a Reader's Digest scholarship. The plot is still in the works, it only has to be 1,500 words, but it won't be penned until my theology paper is done. By the end of this week, I should be starting on it. My only issue with my idea is that I don't know how to expand on it - and I don't want to drop it because I really, really like it.

My nails are now a pretty black grape color. (Thank you O.P.I.'s Give Me Moor) For some reason, dark colors suit me well. Perhaps it's my season's fault?

I want to buy a sweater dress with pompom tassles, wine-colored knitted arm warmers (and a matching beret or beanie), a plaid hooded fleeced cape, and some knock-off (traditional) Uggs. I would wear it for thanksgiving - and everyday after.

Ah, my style is constantly evolving. One moment I'll be ultra girly with frills, the next super preppy, and after that country-girl comfy. Right now I'm teetering between androgynous and a sweetheart punk. That makes no sense! At all! I've been stealing my lil bro's clothes (mainly vests). It's the fault of the flannel pink/black plaid sleeping shirt I just bought.

My father says I'm starting to act like/look my workplace (which he proceeds create names for: Rotten Tomato, Tomato Foot, and the current Smashed Tomato). I don't know whether to take it as an insult or a compliment. Ah well.

My new lifestyle is going well. I feel soooo much better on it, and my tastes are already changing. Soy Ice Cream is really yummy (I can't testify the same for Rice Dream: it has the same funny after taste as the rice milk). It's not as hard as I thought it'd be. Last night I was craving a Tuscan Chicken (sliced baked chicken, pesto, mozzerella, pesto and sundried tomatos), but that's the only meat/dairy craving I've had. :)

Thanksgiving is coming up soon, meaning I get to explain to 50+ family members exactly why I'm now vegan. Yay. (And I say that will all the enthusiasm in the world. Wow. The internet sucks at conveying sarcasm.) In all truth, I am excited about seeing all 41 of my first cousins. It's been forever since we've been together.

I'm going to go have some Ginger Snaps and some Earl Grey. and work on my essays.. =_=* Toodles!

I have some news scratch that - I have some BIG news.

I am Vegan.

Yep. I no longer consume rotting, dead flesh.

This has been a while (and by while I mean two months) in coming. By now you know that two weeks ago, I hadn't eaten red meat in two months - resulting in anemia. Sadly, I ate red meat to combat my dizziness. It worked, but I polluted my system again.  Since then I haven't eaten it...

So why am I changing?
1. To lose weight:  or rather, to keep it off. I have about 4-6 kg that I want to lose to be my ideal weight (and shape... but it's mainly so I can be the right shape).
2. To be healthier: on average, vegans/vegetarians have a lower BMI and few diseases. Meaning less meds, doctor visits, and miserable colds.
3. To learn self-control: be honest - how hard is it to switch from eating mainly meat (as is the custom in the South) to eating veggies and fruits. It forces me to think about what I'm shoveling into my face.

Q: "What's the difference between Vegan and Vegetarian?" 
A: Vegans don't consume animal products (including all dairy products, honey, chocolate, etc). This is the ultimate pro-animal statement. Note: I am not pro-animal. I hold nothing against those who do consume flesh. It's just not my thing. "My boat doesn't float that way." 

I've been toying with becoming one for a while now, but I recently bought the book, Skinny Bitches. Read it. It'll change the way you look at your food (or the way your food looks at you. I'm kinda fuzzy on that one, but hey.) The authors make some very good pro-vegan arguments.

So far it's been super hard not to eat *gulp* ice cream... but it'll all be worth it. Especially when I can fit into that size 00 hanging on my wall.

But wait! The life changing news doesn't stop there!

I will be staying home next semester.

So what does this mean? Why is it so significant?

I won't be attending PHC.

I'm sure Megara will be estatic to hear this - but she's going to freak when she finds out what I plan on doing instead.

P.S. So I've been hearing tons about this new one-man-band called Owl City. I checked them out and I love some of his songs (They grow on you after a while. Sorta like Enya. At first I hated her style and now she's one of my top artists of all time.) Rainbow Veins is my current fav, followed by Cave In, and then The Saltwater Room.

 

That's how I feel when you tell me,  "I like you."

You've captured my thoughts. Congrats. What about my heart?

Was it ever yours?


Is that my fault? Have I never opened my heart enough? Why haven't I? Will someone inform me of what exactly warped my emotions oh-so long ago?

I was afraid that your heart would be placed in my hands too quickly. That's why I asked for a month. I'm glad I did.

So you still like her? That's fine with me. You probably think that it's hard for me to hear that; but, the truth is I'm relieved. I don't have to turn you down - or worse. Suffer through a bad relationship.

Why? I don't think your head is mature enough, and I don't think my heart is naive enough.

Plus - I didn't want to kiss you. That would have been awkward.

I don't know whether to run and hide, or accept it.

It isn't love - that much I know.

Why do you come to me and expect me to patch things for you? Why do you expect a peck and a hug?
______________________________________________________________________________

It started with a holiday... Last week I was majorly depressed, I slept an absurd amount. So sometime last week and old friend popped up on fb chat. (Facebook... why? Why do I continue to torture myself with you? Am I so stupid that I don't learn from my mistakes?) We reminiced about old conventions - our parents' buisnesses are under the same corporation - and chatted about recent years. We haven't seen each other since Orlando, Florida four years ago during my midget years.

Of course Spencer's a ginormous flirt; he always has been. I had an insane crush on him. (It was insane because 1. he's 4 years older than I. 2. he was way cuter than I was. 3. I drove him crazy with my antics. 4. ... I can't think of another reason why :P) A fact which happened to pop up in our convo.

"Did you ever like me" wow... how direct
Uh, frankly, yes.
"Do you like me now?" ?!?!?! What? this is the part where I nearly fell out of my seat... a feat that is nearly impossible
Well, I haven't seen or talked to you in four years, so I don't know... what the heck, this isn't middle school and I'm not some giddy high school airhead
Turning the tables, do you like me? *>:3*
"I don't know"
"But we should talk some more to find out"

<><><><><><>

Spence then proceeded to give me his cell and told me to call, which of course, I did. Wow.  We ended up talking about getting together over the holiday break and about relationships... just not "ours"

The next day, I then proceeded to torture ask Sam what he thought about it (Yes, the infamous Sam....). Being vague is one of my specialites. The other is being acerbic (and sarcastic). By the time I finished "asking" Sam, I left him with the impression that it may or may not be him I was speaking of... fufufufu

Ain't I a doll?

AH... To make a long story even longer: Sam's ex texted him tonight and told him that she liked another guy... which was apparently enough to cause him to have a melt down.

Since he was having trouble expressing himself on fb chat (WHY DO I NEVER LEARN?!? It's like a mini highschool drama generator.) I called him. He ended up sobbing on the phone for nearly 20 minutes.

I let him know exactly how I felt about it. I told him to get his head out of the clouds and stop being to irrational about it. SERIOUSLY, omg, You are, what? 18? 19?, and you had already planned how many kids you would have and what you would name them?!?! That's retarded. No 18 year old should even be thinking about marrage. Stupid.... you would probably throw your life away for a wife. Which is, in my never to be humble opinion, idiotic.

And then I told him he was being selfish.

Yeah, I'm a horrible person what's new?... I could add, get over it, but I'm not that heartless... then again - I am. So, get over it.

Anyway, by the end of the convo, he admited that it might not be the end of the world. *pish* Congradualtions - would you like a gold star for returning to reality? 

For all my snarkiness, it was a good conversation. I was finally able to tell him how I felt about the other day. I was fully honest about my feelings (okay, so not the "like" feelings, but you catch my drift... and if you don't - nvm).

So as I was about to relax in my lavernder bubble bath and work on my characters/plot for The Anacronist (my NaNoWriMo), he popped up on my brother's fb chat and asked him (actually my mother who pirated my lil bro's) to put me back on. And then he told me:

"You know [makes a reference to a year ago when he screwed with my heart]... I did like you except I was afraid of what others would think. It wasn't the first time I like you, or the last." 

I bristled... and at the same time, liked those words. Those honest lies.
 

Ichigo, Ichie, buddy.

There's this awesome site that I stumbled onto (via Victoria of lolita-charm.com) It's called weheartit.com and it's similar to flicker or tumblr, but a lot easier to use.

You can search for pictures via key words like: Mirror, Black and White, Nature, Underwater, etc.

Using this method, I found some that fit my last post, and some that just inspire me.


found underneath "text"
This definitely can go with "Peanut Butter Pie: bite me loser"

( See the rest of the Tapestry )

It's raining. Meaning, it's a perfect day to vent a little... and to ponder. And to be uber cheerful! (Contrary to the post below, I am very happy today.)

Today's post contains the following: no peanut butter pie, an awkward hug, a stupid male, and piles of dirty dishes.

As you know, I met up with an old crush a few days ago. I meant to blog it sooner, but things have been a little hectic. (My Obama post was to contain this one, but hey, it was worth getting off topic.)

Leading up to my "date," my head was spinning with what if's. And also my rationality. (Does anyone else have that pesky little voice saying "Cut off the feelings now. Don't get involved with your heart"? It's one of my biggest character flaws.) What if he asks me out? What if we started dating? Would he take the relationship seriously, or use me to divert his feelings like he did last time?

It began at three with an akward hug, you know, the kind where both parties don't want to hug but do so out of (in)formality. Since I had to be at work at 5, I suggested that we go ahead and grab lunch... at my work. As we navigated downtown, I tried to start a casual discussion. I knew where it'd ultimately lead: to a confession of past fancies.

It's funny how one can manipulate a conversation with a handful of appropriately placed words. To avoid the impression of anxiousness, I decided that I would make him bring up the topic.

Between mouthfuls of a complained about sandwich ("I don't eat anything with the words tofu, goat cheese, or tomatoes.")

As an aside: if someone is paying for your meal, don't complain about the restaurant choice! Such an ingrate, you idiotic male.
he responded to my answer ("I like you, but you were just using me to get over NBG.") with a cool, "I thought so. I'm pretty good at reading people."

NO, moron. No, you're not. If you could read people then you would have know why I distanced myself from you. You would have understood why I was depressed at the beginning of the spring semester; you would have known why I said what I said to those classmates brainwashed infants. You would have comprehended that I felt that, even though I was surrounded by people, I was stranded on a solitary island. That I was alone. You also would have realized that I had changed, that I am not the same girl you knew at graduation. I had undergone a metamorphosis.

No. Instead, you insisted on lecturing me about how I need to be more accepting around those people. ??? I need to be? By those words you show your ignorance, your incomprehension. I was the radical, they were the intolerant ones. And apparently, so are you.

Next time we meet, talk. I don't mind it. Just be prepared to listen. Out of the two hours we spent together, I spoke the verbal equivalent of two paragraphs. You, on the other hand, spoke two chapters. LISTEN! I will not waste my breath trying to speak over you. Learn courtesy. When I take my precious time to be with you, treat it well. I could have stayed home and had a nearly identical conversation on my theo discussion boards.

I hope the rest of your life goes well. Don't even think of getting together with me, unless you're paying.

Oh, and when I ask you what you want for dessert, it does not mean I don't want any. You could have at least asked if I wanted a bite of the Peanut Butter Pie...

why else would I have suggested it, you cakesniffer?

Want to know the best Obama-Nobel Joke?

He won.


BREAKING NEWS: Obama just won the Emmy for "Best Press Conference." And the Academy just gave him an Oscar for a PowerPoint presentation he's going to make about world peace. And evidently he won a pro bowling contest in Milwaukee, a bass fishing contest in Arkansas, a blue ribbon for the biggest squash at the Iowa State Fair, the jackpot in the Megamillions lotto, and a poetry contest in Sheboygan.

Our Great Leader Comrade Obama is a supergenius who knows all and tirelessly works for the common good of mankind. This is not rigged at all to promote a political position but rather a celebration of Obama's vast accomplishments, which are still in progress but surely astounding.

I can hear the whole world resounding with laughter. When I awoke this morning, I found out that our president had won the Nobel Peace Prize. My first question (one that was heard in every household across the globe): For what?!? Apparently you can win a Nobel on good intentions! So I do have a shot at it!!! I'm full of good intentions! :D *taps foot* Ahem? Where is my award?

And working towards a nuclear nonproliferation? May I remind all of you wonder-peace loving-why- can't-we-all-just-be-friends hippies out there that every time North Korea has broken the NPT (Nonproliferation Treaty) and "repented" we have equipped them with MORE uranium and other nuclear paraphernalia... that they have used to break the treaty again. And that Russia has broken EVERY treaty that they have ever signed with America regarding WMDs (weapons of mass destruction). And Obama, ever-loving-Junior (not senior)-senator-now-leading-the-country-without-a-single-important-accomplishment Obama, has decided that if we (America) disarms ourself that others will follow suit (not even taking into account that Afghanistan, Russia, North Korea, and any other loverly country that holds the similar goal of destroying the US would even think to use this to their advantage... in simpler terms, blow us off the map with their nukes).

Go ahead, Nobel Prize Committee... award the prize for "Hope." For inspiring the whole world to laugh, I award the committee the prize of funniest laid off comedians. (Last time I checked, awards were given for outstanding accomplishments... not hopeful achievements.) Yes, because he has gifted the world with hope, peace, and czars.

Truthfully. this American is less than hopeful.

Now that that topic has been take care of... on to better things!

Surreal...

So I reactivated my facebook and hopped on last night. Okay, so maybe I need to start this a little earlier.

We were watching tv/eating dinner and my lil sis's cellphone rings. As expected, it was her bf. Mom told him to call back in a few minutes (so she could forward the cell to the house.) Anyway, he told her some things (he's about three hours away at college/uni) and they ended up breaking up... My sister never cries at least not in front of others. She grabbed her stuff and was walking out of the house, so I grabbed my car keys and took her to Starbucks ~ I hate the place, but it was the only coffee shop open at ten.

To make a long story short, we got some coffee (well, I got a green tea latte) and then we raided the grocery store after hours. At least I think it was after hours - they had this thing blocking the in door, so we entered through the out door. :P We ended up getting lavender Aveno bubble bath, apricot face mask, fruit popsicles (lower in calories than ice cream!), nutella, ramen, an herbal "meditative" tea, and an imported sparkling pink lemonade from France (she likes it, so we got it).

We got in around 11:20 or so, and I still hadn't had a shower ~ and the bubble bath looked so tantalizing... After soaking for thirty minutes, I hopped on facebook.

Ah, now back to the beginning.

A good friend started talking to me while I was taking a quiz (yeah yeah, I know. stupid)... So the quiz was "what kind of beauty are you?" (Don't look at me like that! it was on nenriel's profile, so I took it) I got inner beauty ~ something about how I may be plain on the outside way to boost my pride, quiz =_= but my kindness makes me beautiful on the inside yeah... whatever *sigh*. My best friends from my school (one girl - Toast, one guy - Sam) commented on it and had a "poke fun a me" time; lol. So then my guy bud pops up on fb chat and randomly asks me why I hated him for "like a month" last year. (refer to entry http://salquelatine.livejournal.com/4297.html#cutid1 for a synopsis)

Any girl would be thoroughly ticked if she found out the guy she liked was using her to get over another person. But I didn't tell him that; that's for a face to face conversation... and it happens that we're seeing each other next Thursday. Ai ya.

So, what are we planning on doing? (His idea for everything but the last one) We are: meeting at the library to browse through books, taking a leisurely walk in the park to "work up our appetites", and having lunch/dinner at the place I work at. After agreeing to all of it, something struck me - I JUST AGREED TO A DATE o_o. And then I proceeded to freak about what I was going to wear, how I was going to do my hair, etc. Sheesh, I'm such a girl.

I told my other friend, Toast, and she laughed, laughed! Then she proceeded to tell me that we were always destined to be... oy gevalt *facepalm* Such a good friend, not. lol.

Yep, that's my interesting news for the week.

Now I have to finish college junk. v_v I've wasted too much time. And my head is spinning from the lack of sleep... @_@

Things have been crazy.

I'm working at least two days a week now (for six to seven hours at a time), plus school, plus church.

Three other teens and I met with our pastor and youth pastor the other day. We presented them with ideas for our youth - all four of us are tired with how apathetic we have become. We want a change.

I keep falling farther behind in school *you darn internet! why'd ya have to have so many interesting things on you?*. It's my fault alone. I'm such a procrastinator... With work, I feel like I have no time to read my lectures and post to all three discussion boards (not only that, but post well thought out answers).

In other news, I now have a poupee (it's french for doll).

by poupeegirl
It's a crazy little Japanese site (that I came across why researching fashion, on sushi-cat.net, for my other blog) where you can buy outfits, layer them, take snapshots, post your own clothes, and other random little things. It's fun!

I have decided that my new style is going to be moriXloli - or you could call it a natural kei loli. It's the best style to go with my wardrobe restrictions (for school) and still have a fill of lace and ruffles. ^_^ The clothes I want to order are from victorianmaiden.com, but that will be a while since the pieces cost anywhere from $100 - $400+. x_x I don't have that kind of money, neither do mom and dad.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to school. I have to work again tomorrow night from 4pm - close (aka 11-12pm).

Oh... and I deleted my facebook account.

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
*mutters* rusufrusuwrasumasu... ARG! *punches a wall*

I'm fed up with:

• church - Why does everyone play church?!?! So many Christians are half-hearted about serving God. I was so convicted the other day while reading A. W. Tozer's Knowledge of the Holy. In it he states that the God we serve in modern Christianity is not worthy of worship by man. (Now wait and read this through, it's important)
• people in general - I don't see people anymore, so what's the problem? When people jump to conclusions, are self-centered, care nothing other than their own interests, are ignorant, stubborn, and bothering others with their problems
• college - actually this is more, I'm fed up with my inability to do college. I sit at the computer for 8-12 HOURS a day and never get anything done, never. Then I have no human interaction which is driving me INSANE, and have no extra curricular... I'm turning into a fish... and there is nothing I can do about it other than to look out at the funny/weird people staring into my glass bowl.
• food - I can't cook anymore. No, I haven't lost the ability to, just the time to. Now I'm surviving off vanilla and green tea ice cream, frozen pot pies, oreos, the ever-occasional leftovers, cereal, and tea... a pathetic existence.
• clothes - I want to go shopping, online or out. I want some new clothes or at least fabric, odds & ends, and eclectic pieces to revamp my old ones.
• lack of intellect - so I'm going to DL/college with very intelligent people... that I never talk to. Yeah, we have to have online discussion posts and whatnot, but I mean a meaningful just-for-the-heck-of-it talks.
• lack of time - Never ever ever, is there enough hours in a day.
• mood swings - *sigh* Did you know that both girls and guys pms? Yep, sometimes guys have more mood swings than girls.
• life in general - nuf said.

The bottom line: I'm fed up with MYSELF. Yeah. I'm a lazy, selfish, unkind, moody, bothersome, whiny, wimpy, inactive, uneducated, incompetent, lifeless loser. Such a confidence booster for my self-esteem. *pish* as if.

I'm off to take a bubble bath. I deserve it. (no I don't deserve anything.. ever)

Going down to Biltmore in October and staying at the cutest little bed and breakfast with nenriel_rain! Very excited for a well deserved, albeit short, vacation. I'm so tired of being in one place for so long!

I think I am meant to roam the world for all eternity. Sounds like a plan to me.!

I have always been obsessed with clothes and fashion, but never more than now. How I wish I could live near a bigger city just for the odds and ends shops! My inner artist has come out in my outfits. I'm recycling old, barely used shirts, skirts, and jeans and modifying them to my hearts extent. <3 love! My favorite project so far is my PHC shirt. I bought it last year when I visited the college and got it two sizes too big. So instead of making a lame 80s inspired cutoff, I'm revamping it with this wonderful polka dot fabric that I used to make a skirt two years ago. :)I'll post a pic of it once I'm done. You can buy the outfit straight off the mannequin and look nice, but it won't have any of your personality. Why did no one tell me about loli fashion before this year?!?! I'm addicted.

On another note, I need to get my fringe trimmed. Last time I saw my wonderful hairdresser was about two months ago (yikes!). My hair is getting fantabulously long! (I can now fold my arm behind my back and twist the ends of it without having to stretch to reach it.)

Work is going well. I'm still up to my navel in dishwater, but at least it's getting cleaner. Closing last night wasn't too bad either. But it had been a super slow night. And once of the guys I closed with? He's my age, listens to NPR religiously (just like me!), likes Twilight (but I won't hold that against him), thinks LotR is the best Book-to-Movie, was a drummer in high school, and is kinda cute. Arg, but I get so bored with any guy-crush after a few days. It's annoying.

Had a great talk over breakfast with a friend yesterday. We're going to get some guys and put together a plan for our youth group at church. We're seriously lacking in many areas. So we're all getting together at my house on Saturday, before bus visitation, having breakfast. I think I will cook tamago, scrambled eggs, biscuits and chip-beef gravy, rice, fruit, and maybe fish.

Speaking of cooking. I prepared myself a new blog (on blogspot.com). It's eatingcultures.blogspot.com. Now if only I had more followers and friends to follow... it's so difficult finding various international friends without feeling awkward (or maybe that's just my disposition)

WOW! Longest post in a while. Sry for not posting sooner.

Oh, and it's rainy all this week. YAY! ^_^

I have some enoki mushrooms in the refrigerator, and I got several supplies from the Korean market today (mom had to ask the lady at the counter to show her where everything was... going into an Asian market with a list is very intimidating).

I ran my first full 5k! (In 31min. 30sec.)

My dream last night was about teaching English in Japan... very, very odd (since if I live in Japan I want to study cooking, not teaching).

I'm training to wash dishes tomorrow; yeah, I'm serious.

My job is right next to a dance studio, and today there were girls coming in to lessons (T_T I wanted to be one of them so badly.)

I need to make reservations for the Jarrett House tomorrow.

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP EATING ON MY DESK WHEN I ASK THEM NOT TOO?!?!?!

People (ahem, siblings) eating food downstairs, in my room, at my desk, annoys me.

DDR music is the best to workout to (but not at 9 p.m.) ~ my playlist includes Om Du Vin Mar (Nanne Gronvall - YEAH SWEDEN!), Creeps Me Out (Ima Robot - thirteenthend, I think you would like this group), Maichek Gei (t.A.t.U.), Love♥Shine (Riyu Kosaka), Honey Punch (Riyu Kosaka ~ this one's my favorite), along with a few others. :)

NPR had a good chat this morning on music genius and serendipity. It then turned into relating to others through pop culture and how we could use it to being the global community closer. (Apparently the foreign correspondence journalist is a dying breed - who knew?) When I got out of the car, they [same show] were talking about Kenyan wedding photos and their uber brilliant political journal published in English (which is incomprehensible unless you take delight in all things Kenyan).

Japan has a new government. It claims to be cool with foreigners (although I have heard a spiel on Japaneses general xenophobia...) but wants an equal relationship with D.C. Good for them, I think. But what exactly does the [Japanese] Democratic party stand for?

In other breaking news, I ran two miles yesterday and then did strength training. Sore feels good (am I closet masochist? Probably not... but it feels good to be sore from working out)

And: none of this will make sense unless you live in my head. Welcome to midnight in Hal World.

Ah, quick update:

Life is busy, busy, busy. Distance Learning is a pain, for the simple fact that it's like teaching yourself... or training yourself to be diligent. Not that it's an impossible task, just hard.

It's easier if you understand my high school. Not that I was the smartest or the most studious, I just had a knack for being able to go farther than most of my classmates on coast. I rarely ever had to study. And I had to "dumb down" my vocab when I spoke to my schoolmates. I felt restricted by their level - like a koi in a goldfish bowl.

College is interesting. I guess it's been like trying to do a mental full split without streaching first... and doing it every day.

Theology started out with the discussion of several questions including "Would it be accurate to say that even an atheist or an agnostic does theology? Why or why not?"

US History (which should have been relatively easy) began with: "One popular U.S. history textbook—a textbook that is widely used in American colleges today—contains the following statement regarding the European settlement of the Americas: “[T]he settlement of the New World, which the historian Francis Jennings has called ‘the invasion of America,’ ranks among the most flagrant examples of unprovoked aggression in human history.” Some use the word genocide to describe what Columbus triggered. Hence this 1990 National Council of Churches statement regarding upcoming Columbus Day celebrations: “For the descendants of the survivors of the subsequent invasion [i.e., the West’s invasion of the New World], genocide, slavery, ‘ecocide,’ and exploitation of the wealth of the land, a celebration is not an appropriate observance of this anniversary.” Author Hans Koning writes, “It’s almost obscene to celebrate Columbus because it’s an unmitigated record of horror. We don’t have to celebrate a man who was really—from an Indian point of view—worse than Attila the Hun.” What do you make of these assessments? Are they accurate? Do they express any truth at all? How should responsible historians respond to these kinds of assessments?" (and that was just the first out of five)

And College Level Writing - the one class I though I could handle - has asked me to write in an "academic" form how to either Eat an Ice Cream Cone, How to Put on a Coat, or How to Make a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. (which is easier said than done)

I just got a job... YAY!... and told them I'd be able to work full-time (or as close to it as possible) and still do schooling. But I don't think it'll be possible. I spend almost 14+ hours a day just reading and notetaking, and I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything. AND I'M ONLY TAKING 3 CLASSES!  As for lj and fb: I'm going to have to cut myself off from them until I get at least one week ahead.

So what do I feel like now? Let's use my a fore mentioned example in a new context: I am a koi that has been tossed into Lake Michigan (or any other large body of water you would like to substitute). I feel a tad overwhelmed. I mean, seriously, two of my year mates (on campus, not DL) are already best selling authors. So I have devised a stratagy called Plaster My Desk With Reaffirming and Motivational Quotes. So far it's been interesting. At least I have one thing done.

As my mother put it last night, "You're at the bottom of a new ladder." Well I guess it's time to climb.

Today was another day in the life of myself... HA! How's that for poor grammar?

I had an interview this afternoon at a local boho restaurant that specializes in all things natural. It's awesomely unique, just like moi! So they liked me and have called me in for a second interview with the kitchen manager - meaning I might be able to cook for a job (now how totally brilliant is that?!)! So we'll have to see how it all goes. As it happens, if I am hired, I will be the only one on staff without a tattoo or any sort of piercing. o.o lol

While waiting for my completely nerve racking interview, I lazed about and watched tv while folding laundry (why is it that it that the pile never seems to get smaller?)... "What were you watching?" you may ask - well, what I normally watch ~ the completely amazing Travel Channel!!!! (check it out -> http://ihavethebug.com, I'm an explorer, what are you?) And what I ended up watching was Bizarre Foods with Anthony Zimmerman: UK.

Okay, okay, I have to admit, when I think of odd exotic fare, the UK isn't my first choice (neither is the US). But he started out in Edinburgh, Scotland, went to Swansea, Whales, drove to a small town somewhere between Bristol and London, and finished up in London, England. Along the way he at haggis, fresh pigeon, Christmas pudding, some sheep dish made with congealed blood, jellied eel, cockles, whelks, and larvae bread (which is basically nori before it's pressed and baked). Some of it look delicious (and others, not so much). And I learned a new culinary term - pluck. Do you know what pluck is?

Then my absolute favorite show came on - Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations (I would take his job in a heartbeat - nay, less than a heartbeat). Basically he travels to different countries, sometimes even Stateside, with no plans whatsoever. He then nicks a local who will show him around and explore various places with him. He's snarky, cynical, reluctant, sarcastic, demeaning, irreverent (okay, so not always), and sometimes funny (actually he's very entertaining all the time). My favorite episode was when he explored South Korea - his biggest nemesis, as it happens, is a karaoke bong. >.<
Anywho... the episode I watched today was located in Ireland (I'm guessing they had a UK/Great Britain theme today). I was only able to catch a small portion of it... the part where he was commenting on how everyone should play golf in the same manner that the Irish play street bowling - which was noisy, obnoxious, and looked like a load of fun.

Later this evening, mom, my sis and I were at home (dad was at the shop fixing something and my lil bro is spending the night at my "adopted" bro's) watching - yet another - travel show called Extreme Restaurants. So I've decided, if I ever move to Taiwan or Singapore, I'll open a Modern Toilet. (check it here -> http://moderntoilet.com.tw) It's a bathroom themed food shop. How sweet is that?!? Then we saw another restaurant Stateside called The Safe House. It's an elaborate, clandestine bar that's situated beneath a labyrinth... basically a ode to spy-ness. (check it here -> http://safe-house.com) You even have to know the secret password to gain entry.

Well! I am thoroughly besotted, and I believe I will retire (but to where? >.> *shifty eyes*) *dissapears in a similar fashion to the chesire cat* :D

My loverly title today comes from (yet another) cooking memoir called The Axis of Evil, and Other Irritating States: A Dinner Party Approach to International Relations. I found this fabulous gem while looking among the international cookbooks in my library. ^_^ yum!

Enough with the small talk... on to my topic for today. "The Great Satan", an American handle so politely bestowed upon us by Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini*, is used here to refer to the despicable health care plan also known as "Obamacare"* This entry is to explain to my British friend,thirteenthend, exactly why so many Americans are upset over H.R. 3200*. Hope you get a better "overseas" look at the whole shebang :D (and then you can explain it to your friends who will marvel at your international insight).

The most controversial part of the whole legislation is the "End of Life" counseling. It would require anyone over a certain age, say age 70, to head in for an evaluation and suicide tutoring every 5 years. If the adult has an illness, such as Parkinson's (which, coincidentally, my grandmother has), they would be required to go in every 2 years. Upon arriving at the clinic they would be informed on how to end their life sooner. One female officer summed it best in this statement. The counseling would say "to do what's in society's best interests, and cut your life short."* The article (fourth footnote) also had this to say: "the Obama administration is suggesting that medical care be withheld from seniors based on the expected years they have left to live. Such a program already is in effect in the United Kingdom, where patients losing their eyesight to age-related macular degeneration cannot be given an eyesight-saving medication until they lose sight in one eye."

In theory, H.R.3200 would provide the 40+ million Americans that currently have no health care coverage with affordable, sometimes free, government provided care (also known as Medicare). The key words are "in theory". But, as history has shown numerous times, when the government gets involved with the private sector, prices and inflation skyrocket. The most recent example of this would be "Cash for Clunkers" or precisely, the car industry bail-out. Obama observed with clarity, in a free market vs. government control analogy, that "UPS and FedEx are doing just fine. It's the post office that's always having problems."* For clarification this is the government-operated post office. One wry commentator said "The president could have saved us all the trouble and just admitted: "Blue Cross and Blue Shield are doing just fine (with room for true free-market reform). It's government health care that's always having problems."."
This is compounded by the fact that the very Senators who were trying to force this bill down the Congressional gauntlet won't even place themselves on it. If the lawmakers have no confidence in their own system, how can they expect the American public to?

I hope this has explained some. I know it's not perfect, but it's a roughly defined outrage... sorta :P I'd be happy to answer any questions anyone would like to ask. The Congressional system is still a little hazy to me (from my limited experiences with it), but I can research any topic you'd like to hear about. (You too, Megera/nenriel_rain )

--------------Footnotes---------------------
* H.R.3200 - House Resolution #3200, a.k.a. the health care reform
* An ayatollah is the equivalent of a Muslim pastor.
* Obamacare- a term for the "health care reform" coined by US press and Conservatives (now that the reform is dying the definition has been changed, by Obama, to "health insurance reform"). In short, the American Counterpart to the British NHS.
* "Obamacare for Old Folks" http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=104719
* "UK on ObamaCare: Been There, Done That" http://www.rightsidenews.com/200908206084/editorial/uk-on-obamacare-been-there-done-that.html

* Random links and NHS/ObamaCare comparisons here at http://www.angelfire.com/pa/sergeman/issues/healthcare/socialized.html